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Mary Mackenzie and Mark Schultz

Video

29 minutes

Mary explains the value of expressing ourselves honestly. Watch as Mary uses the 4-step Nonviolent Communication process to express needs clearly, honestly and compassionately. She follows with concrete examples to help you anchor your learning process to deepen your authenticity and honest expression skills.

In this edition of Conflict Improv, CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King navigates the challenging practice of expressing honesty when that expression might easily be heard as criticism.

Struggling to navigate needs between the vaccinated and unvaccinated during the COVID-19 pandemic? How can we disagree and still understand each other? Listen in as a participant engages with Miki about her struggle to choreograph people's divergent needs around vaccines, and enjoy Miki's tip for reflecting back understanding when we disagree!

Falling in love is quite an experience, especially when it comes to that moment of saying 'I love you'. So what happens once you're in a relationship but still need to express the way you feel? Sometimes people feel like just saying 'I love you' is too impersonal or unspecific. So in this Life Hack, we give you some tips on how Nonviolent Communication can help set the mood with your loved ones.

How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look...

If we are to transform the existing social order, and shift to a mode of liberation for all, we'll need to look at our own participation in it. This includes how much we are able to focus on keeping our hearts open; speak to impact without attributing intention; and retain a humility that includes our systemic context. Read on for "how to" when we are in a position of less power.

We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us...

Whether we have more or less power and privilege, anything without liberation for all is within patriarchal separation, and will continue cycles of oppression. To liberate ourselves and one another we need to increase our collective capacity through developing related knowledge, skills, research; build an understanding of patriarchal roots; confront lovingly; co-hold dilemmas about privilege;...

How we choose to communicate can either open or shut down connection. We express ourselves through our bodies, so no matter how ‘nicely’ we offer words, if they are not aligned with our energy, they won’t be congruent. This session will offer simple yet powerful tools to connect to your needs and others' needs, allowing more authentic words that are imbued with care.

Sharing more vulnerably provides opportunities for fulfilling connection. As social beings we rely on feedback to see our effect on others. We can get that feedback through body language, facial cues and words. To expand your capacity to share more vulnerably you can create supportive conditions and timing. You can ask for feedback by making in-the-moment requests of others and yourself before...

When someone's behavior costs us, we may attempt to negotiate as much as possible. After some rounds of this, if there's no change we may reach a tolerance limit. So we may set a boundary for self care and clarity about what's unworkable. But depending on intentions and the way its said, this may or may not be a punishment to get even. Here, clarity about intentions, feelings, needs, actions...

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Join Kelly Bryson and go Psychologically and Spiritually Spelunking into your own Caverns of Consciousness, using the inner mining tools of NVC Self-Empathy, Progoff Journaling processes, Focusing, and individual work. Get self-empathy tools that will help you rejuvenate yourself and your relationships.

Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

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Article

12 - 18 minutes

When someone's in immense pain and uses words that are hard to hear, see if you can bring in as much attention and compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much on how it was said. This may support greater understanding and healing. Otherwise, we risk prioritizing needs, norms, and inequities of the dominant culture, over...

Want to increase diversity, plus improve group dynamics and group functioning? There are things you can do to make NVC settings more welcoming to people of color. Learn more about how to use NVC; attend to impact; help the community understand and demonstrate more awareness; factor in historical context; engage; create a more inclusive climate; and more!

Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.