Library Resources with listening

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."

Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.

Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

Trainer Tip: Whether we listen to our own or the other person’s needs first, connecting to needs can help us release judgments of others, see their humanness, help us to begin to hear them and ultimately connect to them. Be aware today of times when you are judging someone. Then be aware of your own needs to improve your connection to them.

Trainer Tip: In our effort to be heard, we often forget to listen. In fact, your need to be heard will not be met completely until you have heard how what you said affects the other person. If we want to ensure that we're heard we can ask the other person to reflect what they heard us say. And we can hear what's going on with them. It is important to remember that a dialogue is not complete until both people have been heard.

Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.

In this vintage NVC video, Bridget Belgrave, CNVC Certified Trainer from the United Kingdom, uses a Powerpoint presentation to demonstrate the key principles of Nonviolent Communication. Starting with needs at the center, Bridget builds a visual structure of the NVC process. This resource has been newly remastered to a larger, higher quality video.

Mary explains the value of expressing ourselves honestly. Watch as Mary uses the 4-step Nonviolent Communication process to express needs clearly, honestly and compassionately. She follows with concrete examples to help you anchor your learning process to deepen your authenticity and honest expression skills.

Leading an Nonviolent Communication workshop is a good way to learn and practice NVC skills. Here are Shantigrabha and Gesine's seven top tips for facilitators.