Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy thse statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 3/2019
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs, and are focused on what they want to happen.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 9/2018
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 4/2019
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
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