In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 5/2019
  • Duration Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: When we try to make another person fit into a reality that we prefer in order to meet our own needs everyone suffers. Instead, bring your focus back to yourself. Notice which of your needs are met or unmet when you spend time with someone. Don’t judge them; just focus on your feelings and needs. Then, decide whether continuing the relationship will meet them

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 2/2018
  • Duration Read time: 6-9 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
If you're stuck when making a decision with someone, it's likely that you've skipped hearing and connecting to one another's needs. Slow down and listen for what's really important underneath the content. This allows you to make decisions that are more fulfilling and harmonious.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 1/2018
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 3/2019
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Page 2 of 4
Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
NVC Booksdance floors 300x30