Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs, and are focused on what they want to happen.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 9/2018
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 4/2019
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. It calms and helps you engage presence for greater access to your skills. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn more about how to develop your anchor in self-empathy.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 4/2019
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 1/2019
  • Duration Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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