Library Resources with reactivity

Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 8-12 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 11/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 02/2013
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 8
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Most reactivity in intimate relationships comes from a lack of confidence in maintaining intimacy, autonomy, or security. What may help is naming what's happening, interrupting shame, and anchoring or reassuring yourself. You can also reflect on the effects of acting from reactivity. Knowing what helps center you, ask your partner to do or say specific things that might help. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 2/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In healing reactivity try identifying your most common complaints, wishes, or requests. Or when you tend to defend, justify, get angry, or protect. Find the tender needs. You can recall when you experienced deep nourishment of that need. Several times a week nourish your tender needs. Be clear about the strategy to address needs by answering key questions. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 6/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
If you're unpleasantly triggered during the holidays you may find yourself responding in ways you don't like. Start by acknowledging how affected you are to bring in more curiosity, mindfulness and eventually, authentic and discerning choices.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 11/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 5/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 6-9 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 2/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
During this session, Giorgos will walk you through a series of short, meditative practices and exercises designed to help you practice noticing, experiencing, and bringing shame to light — transforming it from a burden to a playful fellow as well as a portal to self-knowledge and internal freedom. You'll discover how the deep power of human connectedness can dilute the fogginess of sensitive issues, bringing them higher into your consciousness, and enabling the flow of life to pass right through them!

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 45 minutes
  • Production Date 11/17/2018
  • Premium Members Premium Members
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Video
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Date Written/Produced 3/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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