In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 5/2019
  • Duration Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 2/2018
  • Duration Read time: 6-9 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
During this session, Giorgos will walk you through a series of short, meditative practices and exercises designed to help you practice noticing, experiencing, and bringing shame to light — transforming it from a burden to a playful fellow as well as a portal to self-knowledge and internal freedom. You'll discover how the deep power of human connectedness can dilute the fogginess of sensitive issues, bringing them higher into your consciousness, and enabling the flow of life to pass right through them!

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 45 minutes
  • Production Date 11/17/2018
  • Premium Members Premium Members
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Video
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 3/2019
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 9/2018
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. It calms and helps you engage presence for greater access to your skills. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn more about how to develop your anchor in self-empathy.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 4/2019
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 8/2016
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 11/2017
  • Duration Read time: 14 - 21 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 12
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When we have an inner conflict, how can we bring ourselves closer where we want to be? Miki explains about how we can deepen our self understanding in a way that can transform our own reactivity, urges, and false either/or views -- so that we can bring in more presence, choice, and options.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2015
  • Duration Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 12
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 11/2017
  • Duration Read Time: 10 - 15 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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