NVC resources that include teachings about responsibility
Dian Killian

Dian Killian

CNVC Certified Trainer from Brooklyn, New York, USA

Dian Killian, PhD, is a Certified Trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication, a certified life coach (a graduate of the Coaching for Transformation program) and author of two books, Urban Empathy: True Life Adventures of Compassion on the Streets of NY, and Connecting across Differences: How to Connect with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere (now in its third edition, and in German). Founder and former director of the Center for Collaborative Communication, she now offers coaching and training via her company, Work Collaboratively, to diverse organizations from small and large NGOs to multinational and Fortune 100 companies. She also leads the annual East Coast Women’s Retreat and has regularly offered public programming at Kripalu, the 92nd St Y, Omega, the NY Open Center, NVC Academy, and in the Bahamas and Europe. Learn more and join her blog post and mailing list at www.workcollaboratively.com.

Tip: Demystifying Empathy Guesses

Here's a quick tip to improve your empathy skills with empathy guessing.

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Empathy Magic

Empathy guessing when I was new to NVC seemed magical and mysterious. How could that other person have known that about me? And seen inside me — often in ways I'd missed myself. While empathy is both intuitive and an art, there is also a science to it. In this brief yet fascinating introduction to Dian's course, Empathy Magic, you'll learn a super-practical way to demystify empathy guessing by making use of the root meaning of words.

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Living in Full Authenticity

In life, relationships, and organizations, authenticity is the bedrock of effectiveness. It can give rise to effective dialogues, information flow, intimacy, accountability, decision making and follow through. NVC can give us more tools to live with rigor around our authenticity...
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What Do You Deserve? And Do You Really Want to Deserve Anything?

We can trick ourselves into keeping the status quo, feeling unworthy, and blocking access to critical awareness necessary that allows for new creative solutions to emerge -- when we think in terms of who has "earned" or “deserved” what.
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Self-Management = More Joy at Work

Want to manage more effectively with more ease and joy and get your staff to make changes? The first, crucial step is to learn how to change your behavior to impact what's happening. For example, we can get the inner clarity we need to reframe questions we ask ourselves, recap, make clear requests, give concrete feedback, etc. This article expands on how self-management can increase influence...
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Curiosity, The Art of Waiting, and Finding Peace

Sitting with uncertainty can be very uncomfortable and evoke anxiety. Or it can be a practice that brings in the curiosity and inner spaciousness that allows for creative solutions to emerge, and that help us to relax our attachment to outcomes.  Here's a closer look...
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Embracing the Body: Learning Compassion as a “Felt-Sense”

Our "felt-sense" can provide crucial information about our experience and our lives. It can also help us integrate and retain information. This can also bring greater access to internal resources, choice, open heartedness, collaboration and creative solutions. From there, profound insight and transformation can follow. Here's how we can harness that...
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The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...

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What’s Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say, “I Love You”

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?).  This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...
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Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.

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