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Dian Killian

CNVC Certified Trainer from New York, United States

CNVC Certified Trainer from New York, United States

Dian Killian, PhD, is a Certified Trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication, a certified life coach (a graduate of the Coaching for Transformation program) and author of two books, Urban Empathy: True Life Adventures of Compassion on the Streets of NY, and Connecting across Differences: How to Connect with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere (now in English, German, and Chinese). Founder and former director of the Center for Collaborative Communication, she now offers coaching and training via her company, Work Collaboratively, to diverse organizations from small and large NGOs to multinational and Fortune 100 companies.

She also founded and co-leads the International NVC Women’s Retreat and has regularly offered public programming at Kripalu, the 92nd St Y, Omega, the NY Open Center, NVC Academy, and in Asia and Europe. Learn more and join her blog post and mailing list at www.workcollaboratively.com.

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

  • Learn your body’s “language” and how to listen deeply to it
  • Expand your NVC toolbox with emergency self-empathy tips
  • Explore drawing on your senses to get past what is blocking you
  • Discover and practice that “missing step” in the NVC process

Listen in as Dian shares her tips and sense of urgency around bringing NVC skills to work: 1) How to use your imagination (visualization!) to help you connect with somatic responses and needs; and 2) Five built-in advantages to sharing NVC in the work place.

  • Make use of felt-sense and somatic awareness to support faster and deeper shifts in yourself and others
  • Master silent empathy to give more ease and flow in your empathy guessing
  • "Streetify" your NVC practice by learning how to make your NVC practice more fluent, colloquial, and "natural" and match the person you're speaking with
  • De-mystify empathy guessing by learning to identify key linguistic queues
  • Build an "emergency empathy" tool kit---with "quick fixes" for challenging situations by using each step of the model for maximum effectiveness
  • Interplay both the NVC "mindset" (consciousness/intention) and the NVC "tool kit" for greater ease, fluency and effectiveness

When we apply and practice NVC over a number of months in an organization, it can create group norms that make learning go deep faster. These new norms can impact people's interactions with others both inside and outside of work. From here, there's potential for people to start seeing value when they share these skills and experiences. This may create a ripple effect of interest in applying NVC across different domains in life.

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of wonder, possibility, and creativity.

Listen to CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian guide and ease you into a more natural expression of empathy. This is a three person exercise. Listen in and then give it a try!

Here's a quick tip to improve your empathy skills with empathy guessing.

Empathy guessing when I was new to NVC seemed magical and mysterious. How could that other person have known that about me? And seen inside me — often in ways I'd missed myself. While empathy is both intuitive and an art, there is also a science to it. In this brief yet fascinating introduction to Dian's course, Empathy  Hacking, you'll learn a super-practical way to demystify empathy guessing by making use of the root meaning of words.