CNVC Certified Trainer from Brooklyn, New York, USA
Dian Killian, PhD, is a Certified Trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication, a certified life coach (a graduate of the Coaching for Transformation program) and author of two books, Urban Empathy: True Life Adventures of Compassion on the Streets of NY, and Connecting across Differences: How to Connect with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere (now in its third edition, and in German). Founder and former director of the Center for Collaborative Communication, she now offers coaching and training via her company, Work Collaboratively, to diverse organizations from small and large NGOs to multinational and Fortune 100 companies. She also leads the annual East Coast Women’s Retreat and has regularly offered public programming at Kripalu, the 92nd St Y, Omega, the NY Open Center, NVC Academy, and in the Bahamas and Europe. Learn more and join her blog post and mailing list at www.workcollaboratively.com.
Here's a quick tip to improve your empathy skills with empathy guessing.
Empathy guessing when I was new to NVC seemed magical and mysterious. How could that other person have known that about me? And seen inside me — often in ways I'd missed myself. While empathy is both intuitive and an art, there is also a science to it. In this brief yet fascinating introduction to Dian's course, Empathy Magic, you'll learn a super-practical way to demystify empathy guessing by making use of the root meaning of words.
The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way. This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our heartfelt consciousness...
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.