In the Spotlight: Parenting

NVC and ParentingNVC shares two key premises with attachment parenting: Human actions are motivated by attempts to meet needs, and trusting relationships are built through attentiveness to those needs. Both premises contrast with prevailing childrearing practices and with the assumptions about human beings that underlie these practices. Instead of focusing on authority and discipline, attachment parenting and NVC provide theoretical and practical grounds for nurturing compassionate, powerful, and creative children who will have resources to contribute to a peaceful society.

Marshall Rosenberg, founder and education director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, asks parents two questions to point out the severe limitations of using power-over tactics such as reward and punishment: “What do you want the child to do?” and “What do you want the child’s reasons to be for doing so?” Do we really want our child to do something out of fear? Guilt? Shame? Obligation? Desire for reward? While helping us meet our needs without coercion, NVC also helps us resist giving in to our children’s every wish by teaching us to express our feelings, needs, and requests clearly, and to expect our needs to be considered. When we consistently express our commitment to attending to everyone’s needs–not just theirs, not just our own–we model a way of life to our children and create power with them: the power of choosing to contribute to making life more wonderful for everyone.

Listen now to part 1 of Bringing Peace to Kids in Conflict with John Kinyon and Stephanie Bachmann Mattei just below.

Plus, check out our two new parenting courses. Connected Based Parenting with Ian Peatey and Monica Reu is a self-paced parenting course with a collaborative approach rooted in awareness and presence. Parenting without Obedience: An Introduction to Intergenerational Collaboration with Miki Kashtan, Arnina Kashtan and Lisa Rothman is a live videoconference founded on the principle of creating relationship in which both your needs and those of your children are fully included.

 

David Weinstock

David Weinstock

David Weinstock is a somatic coach, CNVC Certified Trainer, master goldsmith, Aikido instructor, originator of Somatic Consensus, and author of Becoming What You Need: Practices for Embodying Nonviolent Communication. He leads community workshops in schools, prisons, businesses, communities, organizations, and corporations around the world.

David and his family live in Washington state, in an intentional community they co-founded with nine other families where consensus has been practiced since 1990.

NVC Library Resources with David Weinstock

Mourning, grief and celebration is a way to connect with what we love and want to honor.  In this trainer tip we learn that these three things can become a way for us to understand our emotions regarding our losses and appreciations.

Speaking with a united head, heart, and body is the epitome of internal NVC work. HOW do you get there? Listen as David demonstrates his formula for connecting all three areas: 1) ignition; 2) get the big picture; and 3) Break it down: practice, correct, practice, correct!

How do you build new learning paths and change old practices? Listen as David presents the elements of somatic practice — including those that build new learning paths — and discover where that learning “sweet spot” is!
David explores how movement helps you hold your center when navigating challenging conversations. Example: Move to Wind ~ to calm your system; Move to Ground ~ to notice the ground on which you stand; and Step to Shikaku ~ step behind to practice empathic listening. Listen Now.
 
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