NVC resources that include teachings about connection demands
Mary Mackenzie

Mary Mackenzie

CNVC Certified Trainer from Long Beach, California, USA

Mary Mackenzie is a CNVC Certified Trainer, the executive director of the Peace Workshop International and co-founder of the NVC Academy. She holds an MA degree in Human Relations and is a trained mediator.

Mary is the author of Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion.

Mary’s first career was as a fundraiser in higher education, where her listening skills helped people realize their dreams and helped her raise millions of dollars for the universities for whom she worked. She ended this fifteen-year career to begin work with the newly-formed Flagstaff Center for Compassionate Communication and thus started her journey in NVC.

Mary’s guiding vision is to help people fully connect to themselves and their world so that they may experience more joy. Toward this end, she teaches Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to individuals, families and couples, and she works with organizations by offering individual or group workshops and facilitating organization-wide restructuring. Her primary focus is to make NVC easy to understand and integrate, thus making it accessible to everyone.

Website: Peace Workshop International

Website: NVC Academy

Receiving Appreciation With Grace

Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.
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Punitive Use of Force

Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?
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Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.
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We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.
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Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.
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Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.
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Loving Our Role as Parent

Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.
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Noticing What Is Important

Trainer Tip: Where do you focus most of your life? Are there areas that you could reassess? Are you happy? Engage a new paradigm shift in your life.
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Facilitate NVC Groups with Joy and Confidence (2018, Session 5)

Ever wondered how to balance everyone’s needs when leading a group? Or struggled to format a Practice or Leaderful Group? Mary offers insightful and helpful answers to these questions and more.
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Creating Safety and Ease in Your Groups

Listen in as Mary offers suggestions for leading practice groups: 1) how to build trust in a group setting; 2) clues that demonstrate a group’s lack of trust; and 3) signs that indicate a participants' need for trust isn't being met.
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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