Mary Mackenzie

Mary Mackenzie

CNVC Certified Trainer from Long Beach, California, USA

Mary Mackenzie is a CNVC Certified Trainer, the executive director of the Peace Workshop International and co-founder of the NVC Academy. She holds an MA degree in Human Relations and is a trained mediator.

Mary is the author of Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion.

Mary’s first career was as a fundraiser in higher education, where her listening skills helped people realize their dreams and helped her raise millions of dollars for the universities for whom she worked. She ended this fifteen-year career to begin work with the newly-formed Flagstaff Center for Compassionate Communication and thus started her journey in NVC.

Mary’s guiding vision is to help people fully connect to themselves and their world so that they may experience more joy. Toward this end, she teaches Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to individuals, families and couples, and she works with organizations by offering individual or group workshops and facilitating organization-wide restructuring. Her primary focus is to make NVC easy to understand and integrate, thus making it accessible to everyone.

Website: Peace Workshop International

Website: NVC Academy

Ever wish you knew how you might experience more choice when you've been triggered, instead of being trapped in old habits and unmet needs? Wish you could REALLY heal old internal messages that tell you you're not good enough… not loveable… or not deserving? Join veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Mary Mackenzie, for this 6-session course designed to deepen your ability to connect with self and heal your past through the process of Self-empathy.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy:

Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.
Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs, and are focused on what they want to happen.
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.
Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.
Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.
Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.
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