Loving YourselfNVC Library

In the Spotlight: Loving Yourself


"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."
—Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."
—Thich Nhat Hanh

"You can’t build joy on a feeling of self-loathing."
—Ram Dass

"Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
—Rumi, 13th-century Sufi poet

Kathleen Macferran's "What Would Be Possible If I Loved Myself?" is a great way to begin a new year. Grow your self-worth, experience greater freedom of expression, learn to truly celebrate who you are, and more. The first session is available to all, even those who are not Library members. Listen just below...

Mary Mackenzie

Mary Mackenzie

CNVC Certified Trainer from Long Beach, California, USA

Mary Mackenzie, M.A., is an author, trained mediator, and CNVC Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication. She holds a master's degree in human relations from Northern Arizona University and is the co-founder of the NVC Academy, the only online school for learning Nonviolent Communication.

Mary teaches Nonviolent Communication and other spiritually-based programs to individuals, couples, families, organizations, and spiritual communities through a wide variety of workshops and retreats. Her book Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion offers inspiring practical methods for creating peace in our everyday lives.

As a pioneer of online NVC training, Mary runs her company in harmony with what she teaches. She and NVC Academy co-founder, Mark Schultz, paved the way to NVC online training in 2006 and have been instrumental in alleviating the financial and geographical barriers to learning NVC skills.

One of her passions is facilitating critical dialogues between people, and she has spent more than 20 years learning a wide variety of effective processes she can draw on in a moment's notice. Known for her clear communication style, she is especially skilled in helping individuals within groups put aside their preferences and find ways to collaborate with each other that are in alignment with their values. Her ability to cut through the confusion in a group has helped many teams quickly move forward in their desired progress.

To reach Mary:
mary@nvcacademy.com
928.380.8077
or visit: nvcacademy.com or marymackenzie.net

NVC Library Resources with Mary Mackenzie

  • Clarify and accentuate your personal teaching style
  • Gain tools for creating safety and ease in your groups
  • Learn to easily create workshop outlines and teaching activities
  • Come away with tips that will keep your workshops alive
  • Enjoy having 20 minutes in a quiet, rejuvenating, and healing space
  • Let your mind to rest and relax in a beloved community of like-minded others
  • Release any fears about your life or our world that you may be holding
  • Tenderly weave the harmonizing light of peace and quiet joy into your heart
When asked to talk about Self-Empathy to a professional group with no NVC background, Mary devised a quick and easy new practice: Jackal vs Needs. It takes the basics of NVC and turns them into delightfully clear and straightforward questions! Excerpted from the 2017 NVC Telethon.
Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice where you struggle with this.
Trainer tip: If you have a goal, want to be a "success", or want to do "your best', define what that would look like, and how much. Identify one goal and one thing you can do today to achieve that goal and do it.
Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.
Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.
Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.
Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.
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