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Healing the Blame that Binds

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 3 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 pages

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice."

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Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

with Miki Kashtan

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 2 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2 pages

Often when someone else does something we don't like, it's easy to blame the other person. After all, we have all been trained to focus on fault when needs are not met. What can we do to shift that pattern?

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The Blame-Free State (Complete Course)

with Francois Beausoleil

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 6 - 8 hours

Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
6 - 8 hours

Blame can become a terrible habit – one that’s extremely costly both personally, socially and culturally. When you play The Blame Game there are usually only losers. Nobody wins, not really. Learn how to move out of blame into peace – whether it involves others, yourself or situations. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

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Taste of Compassionate Leadership Series: Winning the Blame Game

with Jim & Jori Manske

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:47 hours:minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:47 hours:minutes

Jim and Jori Manske offer insight into blame, how it arises and how do we handle being blamed and our own blame of others.

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Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

with Mary Mackenzie

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 7-10 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath it all? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

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Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

with Miki Kashtan

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes

The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

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Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (Complete Course)

with Miki Kashtan

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 4 - 6 hours

Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
4 - 6 hours

Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

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Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

with Peggy Smith

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our...

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Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

with Mary Mackenzie

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page

Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.

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Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

with Eddie Zacapa

Beginner Skill Levels • Trainer Tip • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

Beginner Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.

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Defusing Anger

with Mary Mackenzie

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page

Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

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Setting Boundaries with Reactivity

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes

Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling...

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Transforming Painful Patterns

with Arnina Kashtan

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 7 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 pages

Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Here are common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

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Evaluations vs. Feelings

with Mary Mackenzie

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes

Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

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NVC Basics: A Foundational Course (Complete Course)

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 06:49 hours:minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Audio
06:49 hours:minutes

Sylvia Haskvitz uses 20+ years of experience to introduce the core concepts of Nonviolent Communication, leaving you grounded in the basics and ready to make transformative improvements to the quality of your communication.

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Developing Discernment

with Jim & Jori Manske

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:43 hours:minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:43 hours:minutes

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices.

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Transformative Dialogue

with Oren Jay Sofer

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • N/A

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
N/A

The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200...

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Cause of Feelings

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:13 hours:minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:13 hours:minutes

Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

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What is Nonviolent Communication?

with Mary Mackenzie

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

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Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

with Mary Mackenzie

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

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