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NVC Library search results for: feelings


The Cause of Our Feelings

with John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan
Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 3 pages
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 pages
Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Introductory Skill Level • Learning Tool • N/A
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
N/A
This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Moralistic Judgments

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Feelings vs. Thoughts Vocabulary Builder

Beginner Skill Level • Practice Exercise • 10 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
10 minutes
This ten question exercise will help build your feelings vocabulary. It is helpful to differentiate between words that describe what we think others are doing around us, and words that describe actual feelings. These "faux feelings" often reveal more about how we think others are behaving than what we are actually feeling ourselves. Feeling words are always about us, not the other person.

Feelings vs Interpretations

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

Introductory Skill Level • Learning Tool • N/A
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
N/A
The following list of words are used to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to help you develop your emotional vocabulary and further support your communication with others.

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

Some Ideas for Using the Feelings & Needs Cards

Beginner Skill Level • Practice Exercise • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
This guide features three activities that use feelings and needs cards: two verions of "Feelings and Needs Poker" and one for "Self-Empathy". Great for practicing alone, with a partner, or in a group.

Cause of Feelings

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:13 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:13 hours:minutes
Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

Feelings Cards

Beginner Skill Level • Learning Tool • Read time: 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Learning Tool
Read time: 1 - 2 minutes
Print-and-cut these 56 feelings cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes eight blank cards for you to customize.

The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 02:21 hours:minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
02:21 hours:minutes
Do you want to increase your capacity to identify and connect with feelings and needs? Would you like to enhance your ability to translate judgments? Join Miki for this deep dive into feelings and needs.

 
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