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NVC Library search results for: intention

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan

Introductory Skill Level • Learning Tool • 3 pages

Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages

NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Intention and Effect

Intention and Effect

Intention and Effect

with Miki Kashtan

Advanced Skill Level • Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes

Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes

When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

with Dian Killian

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Why Don’t They Get It?

Why Don’t They Get It?

Why Don’t They Get It?

with Roxy Manning

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening our...

Zero Step

Zero Step

Zero Step

with Jim & Jori Manske

Beginner Skill Level • Video • 00:54 hours:minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Video
00:54 hours:minutes

Jim and Jori’s Zero Step helps you focus your attention on your intention to connect, and then affirms your intention to live in the present. Listen in as they demonstrate the process — and learn about the benefits of using and cultivating it!

Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Embracing Jackal Thoughts

with Liv Larsson and Miki Kashtan

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages

Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"

How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

with Oren Jay Sofer

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 6 - 10 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 6 - 10 minutes

For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved into harsh argument?

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

with Oren Jay Sofer

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes

What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

with Jeff Brown

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Mediating Conflicts

Mediating Conflicts

Mediating Conflicts

with Mary Mackenzie

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

How to Interrupt

How to Interrupt

How to Interrupt

with Jeff Brown

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 3 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 pages

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Making Requests for Respect

Making Requests for Respect

Making Requests for Respect

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes

When asking for respect it helps to first get clear about your interpretations of other's behavior. You can do this by asking about the other's intentions before believing your thoughts. You can also make a clear request for what specifically you want to see happen instead. Read on for more.

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

with Oren Jay Sofer

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 5 - 8 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 5 - 8 minutes

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

with Eric Bowers

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page

It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Opening Hearts in Israel, Palestine, India and Sri Lanka

Opening Hearts in Israel, Palestine, India and Sri Lanka

Opening Hearts in Israel, Palestine, India and Sri Lanka

with Shantigarbha Warren

Beginner Skill Level • Article • 11 pages

Beginner Skill Level
Article
11 pages

CNVC Certified Trainer Shantigarbha Warren offers a report of his recent NVC training trip to Israel/Palestine, India and Sri Lanka and clarifies how NVC can support social change in three very different contexts. Included is an exercise, based on Gandhi’s teaching.

It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship

with Eric Bowers

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 4 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 pages

Using his own life experience, Eric explores why we need support from others, what support might look like, and what blocks us from asking for support for our relationships.

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

with Dian Killian

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

with Jim Manske

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 2 - 3 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2 - 3 minutes

We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Empathy vs. Investigation

Empathy vs. Investigation

Empathy vs. Investigation

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes

To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more...

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