NVC Library

Search the Library

Search the Library

Search the Library
NVC Library search results for: needs


Transforming Power Relations: The Invisible Revolution

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 9 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
9 pages
Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

Don't Take It Personally

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree. Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves? Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon...

Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Introductory Skill Level • Learning Tool • 3 pages
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

From Obedience and Shame to Freedom and Belonging: Transforming Patriarchal Paradigms of Child-Rearing in the Age of Global Warming

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • 33 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
33 pages
What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?

The Shadow Side of Autonomy

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared...

The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

Advanced Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Advanced Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

Needs, the Third Component of Compassionate Communication

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page
Trainer Tip: In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc., we choose different ways to meet our needs.

The Cause of Our Feelings

with John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan
Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 3 pages
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 pages
Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

The Unconscious Mind Compared to the Conscious Mind

Advanced Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Advanced Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

Mediating with a Group

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs,...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 12. Connect to the Living Energy of Your Needs

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page
For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

Moralistic Judgments

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 5. Separate Needs from Outcomes and Strategies

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page
Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.

Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Hidden Needs

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

 
NVC Booksdance floors 300x30