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Trainer Tip: People tend to look, act, and sound softer when they have been more fully heard. If you're unsure whether someone has been heard and you want to be cautious, you may ask them, “Is there anything else you’d like me to hear?”. If you try to reason with or educate them before they're heard, they'll likely respond negatively. After they're heard, you may notice a willingness on their part to listen and proceed.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/14/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/14/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/14/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: At least once today celebrate yourself and your progress, every step of it. We all have a starting point. No matter where you are in your life, you have made progress. Every mistake, every victory, and every confusing moment can lead you forth and can be something to celebrate.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/14/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: Today, when you tell yourself that you "have to" or "should" do something, notice what you feel and experience - is it a sense of duty, obligation, guilt, shame, overwhelm, constriction, heaviness? Then consider the underlying needs you are trying to meet with the activity. This can shift the purpose and intention with an energy that motivates our actions can bring empowerment and joy to our lives.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/14/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look for feelings and needs underneath it.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Date Added 05/05/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

To learn to identify and speak from your needs requires specific tasks and practices. Here's a list of 10 learning tasks and practices for you to choose from. Some of these ideas include using needs cards and lists, working backwards from strategies and ideal scenarios, reflecting on past experiences and relationships, and asking for/offering/exchanging empathy.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 3 -5 minutes
  • Date Added 05/05/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 05/05/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Reflect on a time when you were either expressing gossip or participating passively. What feelings and needs were up for you at the time? How might you have interrupted the gossip with connection? When interrupting gossip it can take a few rounds of empathy and honest expression to bridge understanding, and create a space in which mutual care and curiosity arises. Read on for an example.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Date Added 05/05/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

When someone behaves in a way that you may label convincing, cajoling, guilt-tripping, threatening, analyzing, or criticizing, you may be tempted to guess they have a "need" for control. Instead, name what this person is doing that isn't meeting your needs. If it is a true need your heart will have softened. If you feel resentment or resistance, you are likely making a judgment rather than guessing what they are needing.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Date Added 05/05/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
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