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Shifting Towards What's Most Important

Dear Friend,

Lately, I've been ruminating on aging.

Eight months ago, I turned 60 and I'm still letting it in. Suddenly, retirement isn't a lifetime away. Suddenly, I'm watching myself physically age faster than I've noticed or even fathomed before. Suddenly, I'm aware of the potential of having just a few decades left rather than what seemed like an endless length of time.

I don't feel old… yet time seems more precious than it ever had before. My oldest and dearest friend died in March, so tending to my relationships has taken on a new, laser-sharp focus.

I'm increasingly aware that something inside me is shifting towards what's most important, such as how and with whom I want to spend my time, and what my priorities are for the next 10 years. My definition of and experience of beauty and wisdom are also taking on new meaning. And self-care takes up more time and and has grown in importance in my physical and emotional life.

These aren't bad things. They're new things. I recently read a quote from Parker Palmer, one of my favorite authors, where he said, "I want to collaborate with aging." Yes, I want to collaborate with aging. To be in choice around how I experience it, how I live it, how I adjust to it, and how I celebrate it. I am a collaborator, not a victim.

This collaboration with aging feels like a major internal and external shift to me.

Today, it is mostly associated with being present to my shifting thoughts about myself and my priorities, plus massive doses of self-care, self-acceptance, compassion, and even a smattering of gratitude for every bit of it.

I'm certain I will come to peace with my aging as I have with every other major life change because I trust my process, I trust Life, and I trust my Divine nature that calls me forth. Still, it feels quite vulnerable and tender to talk and write about because I'm living in the uncomfortable phase of resisting.

The other day as I was sitting in my living room, I made an effort to embrace surrender for a moment, I literally asked myself a question I remembered from a Mary Oliver poem. She asks, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" My focus clarified yet again to my current moment and state of needs – and I took a 15-minute power nap.

Regardless of your age, how would you like to collaborate with aging? And what is your plan for your wild and precious life (or day or moment)? I hope these offerings through the NVC Academy will support you in living the life you want, and in loving your choices.

In peace,

CNVC Certified Trainer and Co-Founder, NVC Academy
p.s. You may also now read these monthly letters on my blog!
p.p.s. Here is a link to the full Mary Oliver poem: I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Monthly Gift. Social Change. Roxy Manning and Martha Lasley. Excerpted from 2018 Course: Session 2. Do you experience discomfort when confronted about insensitivity, inequality, or injustice? How do entitlements, rank, and unearned advantages impact your interactions with others? Check out Roxy’s powerful excerpt on white fragility… Listen In. Ready to take a thought-provoking and bluntly honest look at white fragility? What about the ways in which entitlements, power, or rank impact your relationships? Then sign up for Roxy and Martha’s exciting 9-week series, Social Change: Supporting Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. Newly Revamped! Get Started with NVC, A FREE 30 Day Introductory Course. New to NVC? Come learn at your own speed! By the end of this fully revamped course, you’ll understand the underlying principles of NVC, be familiar with its practical components, have begun creating your own NVC toolkit, and experienced how others are using NVC in their daily lives!  Take a Look Enjoy a Weekly Boost of NVC! NVC Reflections, with Mary Mackenzie. Now you can receive thought-provoking, weekly excerpts from Peaceful Living, Mary’s daily meditation book for living NVC — consciously. Sign Up.

Upcoming Courses and Events

All times listed are Pacific (California) times.


Responding to the Call of Our Times:
A Leadership Coaching Program (2019)
Miki Kashtan
Fridays, February 1 - December 13 • 12:00pm - 2:00pm PST / PDT
This program remains open for registration for the entire year. There is no curriculum and you can always join and then get the recordings from the beginning of the year.


Social Change:
Supporting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
Roxy Manning and Martha Lasley
Mondays, July 8 - September 2 • 12:00 - 2:00pm PDT


Foundations of the Same House:
NVC and Buddhism Supporting Each Other
Roberta Wall
Wednesdays, July 10 - 31 • 5:00 - 7:00pm PDT


Freedom and Flow:
Recovering from Our Collective Addiction
to Money, Exchange, and Accumulation

Miki Kashtan
Sundays, July 28 - September 1 • 7:30 - 9:30am PDT


From Awareness to Action:
Creating Bridges Across Differences
Roxy Manning
Tuesdays, September 10 - October 15 • 3:00 - 5:00pm PDT


Living Compassion in Challenging Times:
Building Skills in Resilience and Connection
Robert Gonzales
Wednesdays, September 25 - November 27 • 10:00am - 12:00pm PDT


Taste of Compassionate Leadership:
Monthly Video Conference ~ FREE
Jim Manske, Jori Manske, and Guest Trainers
4th Saturdays, Monthly • Ongoing • 4:00 - 6:00pm PDT / PST

Curious About the Future of NVC? Visit Connection Central. There you’ll discover the latest work from respected trainers like Eric Bowers, Miki Kashtan, Dian Killian, Sarah Peyton, Rachelle Lamb, Erin Mayhew, David Weinstock, Roberta Wall, Mary Mackenzie, and others. Take a Look. NVC Multimedia Library. The world’s largest online NVC training library. In the Spotlight: Social Change. Social Change was part of Marshall Rosenberg’s vision for NVC. He said, “Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.” Enjoy the first session from Miki’s Becoming a Change Agent” course, even if you’re not a Library member. Listen. Staff Pick of the Month  (Benefit exclusive to Library members). From Awareness to Action. Roxy Manning: 2018 Telethon Session. Even after 7 years of NVC training, Roxy gives me insights into conflicts I see in groups, including in the NVC community. A fresh layer of compassion and rare understanding highlight the less visible undercurrents. Love it! –Melissa Pai Ling, NVC Multimedia Library Editor. Listen . NVC Marketplace. Popular NVC Trainer Recordings. Need to add to your personal NVC library? You’ll find a wide variety of inspirational and educational recordings in our NVC Marketplace. Check It Out.

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