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Difference: Back to the Basics

Dear Friend,

We live in an intensive time, don't we? Many of us are confronted with loved ones whose perspective is remarkably different from our own – and both sides often feel quite desperate and overwhelmed.

So I'm thinking it's time for me to come back to the basics, and maybe this is true for you too. I frequently come back to the basics when my relationships seem challenging or harder than I think they need to be. So, please join me in NVC Basic 101…

What do you do when someone close to you has a remarkably different perspective than you?

Empathize with them.

What do you do when you can't muster the empathy because the differences seem too painful for you to endure?

Empathize with yourself first, either through a Self-Empathy practice or by receiving empathy from someone else. Once you've been heard, empathize with the loved one you disagree with. And remember to speak your truth – once you think they've been heard – in a way that demonstrates love and respect.

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC, once said, "In order to create a true connection, honesty is just as important as empathy."

Many of us forget this crucial point because it can feel scary to speak our truth. I understand this, and I also know that many relationships fail because of a lack of honesty.

I found my authentic voice 15 years ago, and because of that was liberated from a lonely, frustrated existence.

If you struggle with speaking up for yourself, consider developing a Self-Empathy practice or asking someone to be your empathy buddy. Then, begin to open up one bit at a time with your loved ones.

When we empathize with others and speak our truth, we are expressing love – a true act of love because we are giving our real self and receiving their real selves.

Here's to love in your life and many opportunities to give and receive empathy!

A warm hug,

CNVC Certified Trainer and Co-Founder, NVC Academy
p.s. You may also now read Mary's monthly letters on her blog!

Monthly Gift. The Tao of Empathy. John Kinyon ~ from his 2017 Course. John introduces his Self Connection Exercise as a mindful way of coming to awareness via OFNR. Breath: immediately observable, a reminder to observe. Body: feeling the body, awareness of sensations. Needs: an experience of wholeness that expands awareness of the totality of experience. Listen. Did John’s Self Connection Exercise intrigue you? If yes, then you might enjoy signing up for his upcoming course: The Tao of Empathy. Come rediscover the ease and joy of sharing NVC! Newly Revamped! Get Started with NVC, A FREE 30 Day Introductory Course. New to NVC? Come learn at your own speed! By the end of this fully revamped course, you’ll understand the underlying principles of NVC, be familiar with its practical components, have begun creating your own NVC toolkit, and experienced how others are using NVC in their daily lives!  Take a Look. Enjoy a Weekly Boost of NVC! NVC Reflections, with Mary Mackenzie. Now you can receive thought-provoking, weekly excerpts from Peaceful Living, Mary’s daily meditation book for living NVC — consciously. Sign Up.

Upcoming Courses and Events

All times listed are Pacific (California) times.


Responding to the Call of Our Times:
A Leadership Coaching Program (2019)
Miki Kashtan
Fridays, February 1 - December 13 • 12:00pm - 2:00pm PST / PDT
This program remains open for registration for the entire year. There is no curriculum
and you can always join and then get the recordings from the beginning of the year.


Empathy Magic
How to Streamline Your NVC Practice
and Make Empathy Second Nature

Dian Killian
Wednesdays, May 8 – June 12 • 3:00 - 4:30pm PDT


The Tao Of Empathy:
The Practical Art of Creating Empathic Connection
through Natural Speaking and Listening

John Kinyon
Wednesdays, June 19– July 24 • 12:00 - 1:30pm PDT


Social Change:
Supporting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
Roxy Manning and Martha Lasley
Mondays, July 1 - September 2 • 12:00 - 2:00pm PDT


Foundations of the Same House:
NVC and Buddhism Supporting Each Other
Roberta Wall
Wednesdays, July 10 - 31 • 5:00 - 7:00pm PDT


Freedom and Flow:
Recovering from Our Collective Addiction
to Money, Exchange, and Accumulation

Miki Kashtan
Sundays, July 28 - September 1 • 7:30 - 9:30am PDT


Taste of Compassionate Leadership:
Monthly Video Conference ~ FREE
Jim Manske, Jori Manske, and Guest Trainers
4th Saturdays, Monthly • Ongoing • 4:00 - 6:00pm PDT / PST

Want to Know What’s New with NVC? Connection Central is where you’ll find the latest writings from well-known NVC trainers such as Eric Bowers, Miki Kashtan, Dian Killian, Sarah Peyton, Rachelle Lamb, Erin Mayhew, David Weinstock, Roberta Wall, Mary Mackenzie, and many others. Take a Look. NVC Multimedia Library. The world’s largest online NVC training library. In the Spotlight: Dian Killian. Check out Dian’s newly remastered and POWERFUL audio recordings of Street NVC and NVC at Work, and delve into how to “be the change” in your life and live fully in integrity with your values. The first sessions of both courses are now available for ALL to listen to and enjoy (yes, even if you’re not a Library member). Watch / Listen. Staff Pick of the Month (Benefit exclusive to Library members). Empathy Magic. Dian Killian ~ from the 2018 Telethon. Dian Killian takes linguistics to a new level by exploring the connections between words, their roots, and empathy guesses. This session was fun and offered concrete strategies for exploring empathy guesses! –Robin O’Brien, NVCA Course Coordinator. Listen. NVC Marketplace. Popular NVC Trainer Recordings. Need to add to your personal NVC library? You’ll find a wide variety of inspirational and educational recordings in our NVC Marketplace. Check It Out.

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