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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Dealing With Disappointment

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 12/4/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
12/4/2021

Disappointment emerges when there is a gap between what we want, expect or hope for, and what is happening. When this occurs it can be tempting to make someone or the situation wrong. Instead, rather than pushing against the flow of life we can rejoin it, non-judgmentally notice our observations and feelings. Plus we can nurture acceptance and mourning. We can also remember that what's happening isn't permanent.


Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

Practice Exercise • 3-5 minutes • 12/2/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3-5 minutes
12/2/2021

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.


When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 12/02/2021
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
12/02/2021

Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.


What Is NVC? Approaches to NVC

Learning Tool • 2-3 minutes • 12/2/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Learning Tool
2-3 minutes
12/2/2021

Here's a table outlining eight ideas people have regarding what NVC "is". It provides columns for the principle, related needs and strategies of the NVC approach. You can add to the table your own ideas for NVC approaches. Included are five sets of reflection questions to explore what speaks to you, what would expand your range of options, what brings up discomfort, and more.


NVC Life Hacks 13: Restorative v. Punitive Approaches

Video • 7 minutes • 03/28/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Video
7 minutes
03/28/2019

When people get hurt or harmed, how can we restore trust, safety and connection in the community? A restorative approach which focuses on who got hurt and how can we restore it? Rather than whose fault is it and how can we punish them?


Somatic-Based Empathy

Practice Exercise • 1-2 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1-2 minutes
11/16/2021

Use this interactive empathy exercise to track the relationship and shifting of body sensations, feelings and needs as you note them out loud.


I Want to Leave When Facing Anger

Video • 4 minutes • 12/12/21
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
4 minutes
12/12/21

Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.


Distinguishing Freedom from Submission / Rebellion

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes • 10/15/2020
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes
10/15/2020

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between freedom and submission / rebellion.


You’re Not Too Much

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/29/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/29/2021

Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.


Getting Past the Parenting "Shoulds": Compassionate Parenting Starts With Self-Acceptance

Practice Exercise • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
11/16/2021

Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our children with calm and compassion.


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