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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Dialogue within Communities (4 Session Course)

Audio • 5 - 7 hours • 12/07/2021
All Skill Levels
Audio
5 - 7 hours
12/07/2021

Dialogue is a life-changing, heart-opening experience. It’s collaboration instead of compromise. Join Miki Kashtan for a practical, step-by-step framework to help you understand how a community develops, how to maintain or repair a community, and how this unique process creatively supports you and each member of your community in getting things done.


Engagement And Happiness

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 11/16/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
11/16/2021

When we are completely involved in an activity for its own sake we are in engagement. Here, the ego falls away and time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one. Our whole being is involved, and we're using our skills to the utmost. Read on for activities that could stimulate engagement, a list of subjectively experienced elements of engagement and a list of what supports engagement.


Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/29/2021
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/29/2021

Trainer Tip: Our differences are not in our needs, but in how we attempt to meet them. This simple truth can help you lessen the conflicts in your life and your judgments of other people. Rather than focus on where you disagree, focus on where you are the same. This shift can make a profound difference in your ability to understand yourself and other people, and to bring unity to your life.


Transforming Children's Anger

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
11/16/2021

What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.


Distinguishing Self-Revealing from Projection

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes • 10/15/2020
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes
10/15/2020

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between revealing ourselves and projection.


How to Balance Differentiation and Bonding

Article • 5 -7 minutes • 10/29/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 -7 minutes
10/29/2021

When a relationship has both differentiation and bonding you can express differences and unmet needs, and responsibly do your own thing without it being a threat to the bond with another. You honor each others choices. There's trust rather than a sense of resentful obligation. Needs-based negotiation is easier. See if you tend to emphasize only differentiation or bonding in your relationships. Imagine how to support the opposite.


NVC Life Hacks 12: Love the Inner Jackal

Video • 3 minutes • 02/21/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Video
3 minutes
02/21/2019

The "inner jackal" is probably be better known as the "inner critic", that nagging voice of self-sabotage that undermines our confidence. It's a voice that won't go away in a hurry! So here are our four top tips for getting into positive communication with it.


Meeting Our Need for Order

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/29/2021
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/29/2021

Trainer Tip: Someone’s strategy for meeting needs may look different from yours, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t meeting them. This can happen when they appear to be messy and disorganized, but from their perspective they have it organized. It's just less apparent to you how they have organized it. Read on for a related anecdote.


How To Stay Grounded In A Reactive Moment: Observing, Anchoring And Reflecting

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 9/29//2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
9/29//2021

To shift reactivity by moving yourself from the position of experiencer to observer, name what’s happening. This can help you access other skills for managing reactivity. Also, create a strong emotional anchor.


Responding To "Power Over" Interactions

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 10/29/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
10/29/2021

Based on your observations of "power with" interactions choose a specific, do-able to practice so that you're prepared the next time you're in a power under/power over dynamic. Keep the practice simple to do in a difficult moment. Then reflect: identify what you did (internally or externally) or said that (de)escalated the dynamic. This practice requires noticing what went well, self compassion, perseverance, and support.


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