NVC Resources on Connection Requests

Speaking the truth creates congruence, which creates trust, facilitating understanding and cooperation. Without truth there is no growth in our relationships and community. If this is true, then what keeps us from speaking our truth?

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?). This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...

A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the...

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to...

Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a...

When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.

This document is for organizations that want to integrate NVC. The intention is to use conflict as a stimulus to personal growth, more open and honest relationships, and life-affirming change. It mentions using NVC skills such as self connection, empathy, honesty, and requests (and protective use of force as last resort) to navigate the conflict with an intention of connection.

Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

Poetic License is a fun group exercise that's sure to incite laughter in your NVC group!

Do you ever think you have the perfect answer for someone who is struggling? Eric offers a tip on how to approach situations like this.

Trainer Tip: The exchange of resources, that is, exchanging money for an item or service, is enhanced and better appreciated when we are connected to its personal value rather than its cost.

Trainer Tip: Mary explains how Nonviolent Communication, a process that distinguishes needs from strategies is also itself, a strategy.

Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.

Trainer Tip: The question is not what other people think of you, but what you think of yourself. Who are you, really? Take a moment to consider what you value.

Trainer Tip: There's one sure way to find hidden assumptions, stop and check it out!

How we deal with “no” is a litmus test of our state of consciousness around power. Listen as John works with participants as they learn to give and receive a "no" from a consciousness of interpersonal connection.

Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.

Trainer Tip: When do we move from using the formal 4-step process of NVC to a more idiomatic, natural-sounding expression? Whenever we're ready!

Trainer Tip: Q: How do we get the love we want? A: Ask for it.