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NVC Library

Articles (262)

Empathic, Powerful Responses To COVID-19 Inequities

Article • 15 - 23 minutes • 05/2020
Advanced Skill Level
Article
15 - 23 minutes
05/2020
The existing unequal risks and impacts people of certain race, class and identities face in society is magnified in these strenuous times -- especially with things such as illness, financial well being, discrimination, attacks, and death. As responsive NVC practitioners we can stand in solidarity…

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 10/2015
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
10/2015
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to…

How to Ask for Responsiveness

Article • 3-5 minutes • 10/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
10/2019
If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more…

Does Anyone Deserve Anything?

Article • 13 - 20 minutes • 05/2013
Beginner Skill Level
Article
13 - 20 minutes
05/2013
Our world trains us to think in terms of providing for everyone’s needs because they deserve it, earned it, or they possess the resources -- it's fair, socially just, supports equality or because people have rights. Instead, can we step outside this worldview to look…

How I Changed My Relationship to Time

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 1/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8 - 12 minutes
1/2012
What would happen if you considered that time is a concept, and that it doesn't rule your life? What would it mean to make all choices based on needs and not on time? Do you obey the external rhythm of the clock over and above…

The Powers No One Can Take Away From Us

Article • 16 - 24 minutes • 05/2019
All Skill Levels
Article
16 - 24 minutes
05/2019
We can choose our stories of interpretation, and how to respond. And while stories of self-sufficiency can (to a degree) give us more influence over our own lives, they don't erase oppression, war, nor climate change. When stories omit a lens that includes impacts of…

Angry and Taken Advantage of

Article • 4-6 minutes • 6/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes
6/2018
Finding your power in seemingly powerless situations doesn't mean denying what happened, your feelings, your needs, nor the behavior of others that didn't meet needs. It does mean reexamining those situations with the intention to compassionately look for your contribution and for clues to your…

Life, Interdependence, and the Pursuit of Meeting Needs

Article • 9 - 13 minutes • 12/2017
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
9 - 13 minutes
12/2017
The more we can support an interdependent flow of resources and energy in society and the economy, the greater we can increase both natural abundance and the chances of averting extinction. Accumulation is a strategy born of mistrust. It’s an attempt to control the flow…

3 Simple Steps to Set The Boundaries You Need

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 07/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
07/2019
Resentment is one sign that you need a boundary. You can set a boundary by requesting the behavior that would be most meaningful to you. Include why that behavior would be meaningful to you and share vulnerably. Then notice if you are holding any blame…

Responding to Criticism: At Work and At Home

Article • 7 - 11 minutes • 5/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes
5/2019
In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for…

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