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NVC Library

Articles (262)

The Circle Of Care, The Circle Of Trust, And Nonviolence

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 02/26/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
4 - 6 minutes
Part of nonviolence is having an infinite circle of care that includes simultaneous care of ourselves, others and groups: no one is beyond the pale. Plus, it's about having an infinite trust in the possibility that we can reach someone's heart even if we don't…

As Things Get Worse

Article • 20 - 30 minutes • 12/30/2021
All Skill Levels
20 - 30 minutes
As we head towards impending collapse the relative ease, comfort and freedom of the global north will be harder to maintain. Because of growing anxiety including from people with systemic power, we can anticipate increasing attempts at authoritarian control over the population. We can see…

The Paradox Of Why

Article • 9-13 minutes • 07/14/2022
All Skill Levels
9-13 minutes
So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask…

Blame, Responsibility, And Care

Article • 11 - 16 minutes • 09/15/2022
Advanced Skill Level
11 - 16 minutes
One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using…

From Personal to Global Trauma: The Through-Line

Article • 6-9 minutes • 07/14/2022
All Skill Levels
6-9 minutes
Our everyday personal experiences of diminishment, and the destruction of our planet has a through-line. Societal traumas lead to us shutting down to avoid pain, and this limits us. The avoidance shifts our brains so we don’t see other beings, species and our planet as…

Restoring Dignity And Meaning To Work and Separating It From Sustainability

Article • 24 - 36 minutes • 07/2020
All Skill Levels
24 - 36 minutes
Even in the pandemic the line between what’s essential for people and what is “essential” for fueling the economy, often gets confused. Capitalist market economies actively undermine attending to needs for the many and for life as a whole. Economic recovery is a mirage leading…

Untethering: An Always-On Project

Article • 7 - 10 minutes • 7/13/2022
Advanced Skill Level
7 - 10 minutes
Untethering from dominant culture and internalized oppression takes releasing attachments and persistence inspite upheavals -- all with insufficient support. Even in community building we can bring oppression into our efforts to untether. The more we walk towards vision, the more tethers of patriarchy we undo,…

Boundaries - The Journey To Being Able To Say "No"

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 9/19/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
5 - 8 minutes
Struggling to say "no"? Here are ways you change your adjacent mind patterns. First, note the differences between those who respect boundaries and those who often don't. Second, review situations in which you lost track of your choice. And rehearse what it would sound, look,…

The Journey To Living Through Needs, Compassionately And Assertively

Article • 5-8 minutes • 9/18/2022
Introductory Skill Level
5-8 minutes
Awareness of how we're holding our own and others' needs is important to our development. In learning to value needs, we often go through three stages: passive, aggressive/obnoxious, and assertive/mutual. As we learn and grow, we may relate to the following differently: Whose feelings and…

Codependency: From Rescuer To Taker

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 11/7/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
5 - 7 minutes
Codependency occurs when others' behavior affects us in unhealthy ways and we get obsessed with controlling their behavior. For example, we may focus on other's needs while neglect what matters to us, and resent it. Or we may depend on others to rescue us from…

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