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NVC Library

Articles (262)

Secure Differentiation

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 1/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
1/2019
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are…

Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

Article • 37 - 56 minutes • 05/2020
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
37 - 56 minutes
05/2020
What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the…

Empathy vs. Investigation

Article • 4-6 minutes • 12/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes
12/2018
To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you…

Can We Un-Skew Resource Distribution?

Article • 14 - 21 minutes • 3/2019
Advanced Skill Level
Article
14 - 21 minutes
3/2019
In learning how to re-invent the economic system so that it distributes resources in a way that includes as many people's needs as possible, we would need to be in a process of mutual influence with one another. However, addressing resource distribution can be complex when…

Transformative Dialogue

Article • N/A • 1/2010
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
N/A
1/2010
The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding,…

Can the Social Order Be Transformed Through Personal Practice? - Part 2

Article • 18 - 27 minutes • 02/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
18 - 27 minutes
02/2020
We can't alone (nor with lone communities) transform the hidden structures of violence and domination. Dialogue alone isn't disruptive enough. We can easily be in dialogue with Trump supporters while the planet burns up, millions are still hungry, and we go extinct. NVC seriously risks…

Inviting Depth in Conversation

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 6/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
6/2018
Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent attentive connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three…

The Ultimate Romance

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes
01/2018
For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the…

How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes
06/2020
Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to…

Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 10/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
10/2018
Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article…

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