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NVC Library

Articles (263)

Preparing for Difficult Dialogue

Article • 3-5 minutes • 1/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
1/2019
Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a…

Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 08/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
08/2011
The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy.…

Responding to Anger

Article • 5-8 minutes • 05/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes
05/2018
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend…

Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 2/2015
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
2/2015
A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy…

Help for Overwhelm

Article • 3-5 minutes • 11/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
11/2019
Reducing overwhelm requires you to reconnect with your authentic choice, be present and compassionate with what's happening, heal trauma, and interrupt the trauma response. Read on for ways that may help you reconnect with your choice, presence and more on trauma.

Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck

Article • 3-5 minutes • 8/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
8/2018
Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one…

Honor Your Need to be Heard

Article • 2-3 minutes • 04/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes
04/2019
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t…

Calling Out / Calling In

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 03/2019
Advanced Skill Level
Article
12 - 18 minutes
03/2019
When someone's in immense pain and uses words that are hard to hear, see if you can bring in as much attention and compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much…

What is the Shadow?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
01/2018
What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or…

Interdependence in Action: How to Change Agreements with Care

Article • 13 - 19 minutes • 1/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
13 - 19 minutes
1/2019
The awareness and practice of interdependence is integral to holding an NVC consciousness. Practicing interdependence also means bringing in a quality of care in the moments we want to change agreements with others. This article talks about where our various choices, in regards to changing…

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