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NVC Resources on Feelings


Keeping Our Perspective

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 02/13/2022
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
02/13/2022
Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.

Healing and Reconciliation (7 Session Course)

Audio • 7 - 9 hours • 01/20/2015
Audio
7 - 9 hours
01/20/2015
Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?

Why Don’t They Get It?

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 08/2018
Article
5 - 8 minutes
08/2018
What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening...

Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

Contributing to Emotional Safety Without Giving Up Honesty

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 02/2020
Article
5 - 7 minutes
02/2020
Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response...

Interrupt Emotional Shut Down

Article • 3- 5 minutes • 09/2020
Article
3- 5 minutes
09/2020
In times of stress, some part of you may still hold the belief that you can't be present for the stressor and survive. Some part of you may believe you have to go away. There are three things you can consider when attempting to intervene with the reactive pattern of shutting down: how you relate to the shutting down, access to self-confidence, and engagement. Read on for more.

Creating an Internal Secure Base

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 9/2018
Article
5 - 8 minutes
9/2018
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and...

Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 10/2018
Article
3 - 5 minutes
10/2018
Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

Your Inner Leader

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 11/2018
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
11/2018
When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed due to various life experiences. Without empathy and acknowledgment, our inner parts tend to work against us. That's when we're called upon to build and develop our inner leadership...

How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic (COVID-19)

Article • 5-8 minutes • 03/2020
Article
5-8 minutes
03/2020
As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that is happening in the COVD-19 pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement.

Trauma and Sanctuary

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/2009
Article
3 - 5 minutes
11/2009
One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article • 3-5 minutes • 06/2020
Article
3-5 minutes
06/2020
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article • 7-10 minutes • 10/2017
Article
7-10 minutes
10/2017
When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...