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NVC Resources on Connection


How To Interrupt Tragic Cycles That Prevent Collaboration

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 12/2020
Article
6 - 9 minutes
12/2020
Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 1/2018
Article
12 - 18 minutes
1/2018
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

Embodying Compassion Exercise

Practice Exercise • 30 minutes • 9/5/2021
Practice Exercise
30 minutes
9/5/2021
Grow your compassionate presence with this 3-process exercise. The processes include: Connecting to and feeling the Life Impulse meditation, Creating your own inner space of compassionate presence exercise, and the Compassionately Embracing visualization. These processes will guide you toward deeper self connection and compassionate presence.

Money, Value, and Our Choices

Article • 10 - 15 minutes • 11/2013
Article
10 - 15 minutes
11/2013
How much money to pay? And how much money to ask for? The supply and demand logic basically say that we ask for the most that “the market can absorb” and pay “the least that we can get away with.” We can instead, we can engage in experiments that focus on connecting to and satisfying needs. We can also engage with our varying degrees of access to resources within the existing economy and...

Understanding Earned Authority and Dissolving Projections Through Boundaries and Shared Humanity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 3/2021
Article
6 - 9 minutes
3/2021
Someone may give more weight to your ideas, decisions, and directives based on your experience and what you've learned. This could influence them to project their ideals, fears, hopes, and more onto you. In this case, you can help transform this and contribute to their connection to their own agency, authenticity, and self-trust -- while supporting their ability to learn from what you have to...

Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 2/2015
Article
4 - 6 minutes
2/2015
A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the...

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

Secure Differentiation

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 1/2019
Article
4 - 6 minutes
1/2019
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core...

Enemy Images

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

Observation, the First Component of Nonviolent Communication

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

Demands vs Requests

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

A Focus on Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Beyond “Yes, And:” Acknowledging the “Oops” and “Ouches”

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 8/2014
Article
3 - 5 minutes
8/2014
How can we respond when we’re horrified by what someone says? How can we deepen our connection to our humanness and authenticity when the impact is hurtful? Read on to see examples of the three steps of "calling out", "calling in", and "calling forth".

Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck

Article • 3-5 minutes • 8/2018
Article
3-5 minutes
8/2018
Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to...

3 Key Principles for Successful Needs Based Negotiation

Article • 5-7 minutes • 09/2020
Article
5-7 minutes
09/2020
There are many layers of consciousness, knowledge, and skill that contribute to a successful negotiation. A successful negotiation is one where honor and connection lead to a way forward, and leads to a plan of action that considers and meets everyone's needs in that situation. Read on for three fundamental principles that help with successful needs-based negotiation.

Love Trumps Everything

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.