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NVC Resources on Connection


Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs,...

Saying Thank You without Judgment

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what...

Embracing Nonviolence (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 
Audio
4 - 6 hours
The heart of the practice of nonviolence is a commitment to live through the powerful combination of compassion, fierceness, and courage, with an uncompromising willingness to stand for truth. Join Miki Kashtan for this exciting and informative course to learn how to practically embrace nonviolence.

Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like...

Losing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: Various life circumstances that can seem to be something that we don't want, and we may think of them as bad. And then later the situation may reveal that it's a circumstance that we do want, and we may think of it as good. Instead, of evaluating our day as good or bad we can acknowledge the feelings and needs that are present. Read on for a few anecdotes that illustrate this.

How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Observing: Practicing the distinction between "observation" and "observation mixed with evaluation"

Practice Exercise • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes
Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 13. The Eight Most Powerful Things You Can Do to Build an Inspiring Relationship

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.

Celebrate Your Progress!

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Overwhelmed with all that you want to do? If so, what are you working to change? Is it a behavior or a consciousness? Where were you with this issue when you first decided to create change? And now where are you? Celebrating your progress can encourage you to keep trying. You wouldn’t expect to jump on a treadmill and jog three miles the first time. Don't have the same expectations...

Keeping Our Perspective

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.