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NVC Resources on Connection


Leadership Lessons from the Civil Rights Movement

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 11/2015
Article
6 - 9 minutes
11/2015
When we have few external resources (money, time, health connections, etc), we can still empower ourselves and one another. We can strengthen our internal resources, inspire people to join our cause, build solidarity, and influence others who have external resources to support us and our causes.

Transforming Power Relations: The Invisible Revolution

Article • 9 pages • 04/21/2008
Article
9 pages
04/21/2008
Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

Privilege and Needs - Part 1

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 06/2011
Article
4 - 6 minutes
06/2011
There's the real need. And then there's the privilege that’s offered as a substitute for it. Privilege substitutes support the existing structure of society. It can look to us as if giving up the privilege would amount to giving up everything -- if we don't believe the real needs can even be experienced. If we connected directly to the needs, we could become subversive, agents of change.

Intimacy With Fear

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 05/2014
Article
3 - 5 minutes
05/2014
If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.

The Radical Act of Reclaiming Attention

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2019
Article
5 - 8 minutes
06/2019
Given all that we are facing today as a society and a species, amongst some of the things we need is a well nourished heart. To nourish our hearts we need to discern where to wisely put our attention. Here are three practices to reclaim your attention, and replenish your reserves, so that you have the inner resources to do the work that is calling you. They are: train the mind, nourish the...

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate - How to Connect With What Matters

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 8/2021
Article
8 - 12 minutes
8/2021
To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.

It’s All About Please and Thank You

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Preparing for Difficult Dialogue

Article • 3-5 minutes • 1/2019
Article
3-5 minutes
1/2019
Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a list of questions to help you focus on how to do that.

Responding to Anger

Article • 5-8 minutes • 05/2018
Article
5-8 minutes
05/2018
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...

Feelings vs Interpretations

Article • 1-2 minutes • 04/2020
Article
1-2 minutes
04/2020
Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

Taking on the World: How to Become a Change Agent (12 Session Course)

Audio • 14 - 18 hours • 01/16/2011
Audio
14 - 18 hours
01/16/2011
Are you eager to translate your vision of a world where everyone’s needs matter into a tangible reality? Do you long to discover your unique role in responding to the challenges of our times? If, so join Miki for 12 sessions that will propel you on your way! The first session of this course is free for all to enjoy. nvctraining.com

Responding to the Call of Our Times - Mentoring, Teaching and Coaching with Miki Kashtan

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes • 02/17/2017
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
02/17/2017
Listen as Miki works with participants. Topics: how small requests serve interdependence; NVC process vs purpose; how to respond when empathy is used to create distance; coping with verbal aggression, and more! Check it Out.

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Learning Tool • 3 pages • 2008
Learning Tool
3 pages
2008
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article • 7-10 minutes • 10/2017
Article
7-10 minutes
10/2017
When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.

Moralistic Judgments

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

The Cause of Our Feelings

with John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan
Trainer Tip • 3-5 minutes • Circa 2007
Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes
Circa 2007
Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”