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NVC Resources on Connection Requests



The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with people who don't actually want to think about why they're being the way they are?

Transforming Anger: The Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill.

Naturalizing NVC Language Series: I Don't Know Whether to Express Myself or Offer Empathy

Video • 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
5 minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan discusses how focusing on connection and care can guide us in expressing honestly and offering empathy.

What Would Be Possible If I Loved Myself? (3 Session Course)

Audio • 3 - 5 hours
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
3 - 5 hours
Join Kathleen for a gentle, compassionate exploration and embracing of your true self. Reclaim your self-worth, experience greater freedom when expressing your self and actually celebrate who you are in the world. Delve into what self-love is and is not – including how to distinguish self-worth from negative cultural labels such as self-obsession and selfishness. The first session of this...

Staying Self-Connected in a Challenging Dialogue

Article • 6-9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes
When we're judging we're less able to access both what we care about and constructive next actions. Instead, create more internal space and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects make requests or take...

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article • 12 - 18 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
12 - 18 minutes
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

It’s All About Please and Thank You

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Are You Living Your True Potential?

Article • 5-8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes
How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...

 
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