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NVC Resources on Judgment

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

You’re Not Too Much

You’re Not Too Much

You’re Not Too Much

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 4-6 minutes •

Article
4-6 minutes

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...

Keeping Ourselves Open

Keeping Ourselves Open

Keeping Ourselves Open

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: One of the swiftest ways to close our hearts is having judgmental thinking or looking to get our way. How open are you when you’re in this mode? The goal in peaceful living is to approach our relationships with an open heart. Start conversations today with an intention to connect with other people.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

What is Nonviolent Communication?

What is Nonviolent Communication?

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

with Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip • 4 minutes •

Trainer Tip
4 minutes

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?

How To Distinguish True Caring From Being Charmed

How To Distinguish True Caring From Being Charmed

How To Distinguish True Caring From Being Charmed

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 4-6 minutes •

Article
4-6 minutes

The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

Responding to Anger

Responding to Anger

Responding to Anger

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 5-8 minutes •

Article
5-8 minutes

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...

Observation, the First Component of Nonviolent Communication

Observation, the First Component of Nonviolent Communication

Observation, the First Component of Nonviolent Communication

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

Self-Empathy "Wrap" Process

Self-Empathy "Wrap" Process

Self-Empathy "Wrap" Process

with Mary Mackenzie

Audio • 46 minutes •

Audio
46 minutes

In this inspiring audio, Mary takes to a more profound level the traditional NVC self-empathy process of identifying judgments, feelings and needs, by adding a "wrapping" component.

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.

How to Handle Being Judged

How to Handle Being Judged

How to Handle Being Judged

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

Express Anger with Responsibility

Express Anger with Responsibility

Express Anger with Responsibility

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 3 - 5 minutes •

Article
3 - 5 minutes

Anger can bring in judgment and blame. Instead, use anger and frustration to identify what’s important and express what matters to you in a collaborative way.

Overcoming Defensiveness

Overcoming Defensiveness

Overcoming Defensiveness

with Miki Kashtan

Article • 5 - 7 minutes •

Article
5 - 7 minutes

A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s...

Living the Self-in-Life: Presence and Self-Compassion

Living the Self-in-Life: Presence and Self-Compassion

Living the Self-in-Life: Presence and Self-Compassion

with Robert Gonzales

Audio • 30 minutes •

Audio
30 minutes

During this very moving session, you'll dive into Robert's exercises for supporting connection to your true self as opposed to your conditioned self.

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

with Christine King

Video • 8 minutes •

Video
8 minutes

In this edition of Conflict Improv, CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King navigates the challenging practice of expressing honesty when that expression might easily be heard as criticism.

Developing Discernment

Developing Discernment

Developing Discernment

with Jim & Jori Manske

Audio • 43 minutes •

Audio
43 minutes

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices.

Defusing Anger

Defusing Anger

Defusing Anger

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Past Stories, Present Feelings

Past Stories, Present Feelings

Past Stories, Present Feelings

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

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