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NVC Resources on Love


Healing Worthlessness and Finding Belonging

Article • 4- 6 minutes • 
Article
4- 6 minutes
With worthlessness comes the idea of not belonging or not being worthy of belonging. In this context, belonging is more than an identity with a particular group. It is the sort of belonging that enables you to get other fundamental needs met, including safety, support, nourishment, and love. Unconscious attempts win worthiness and belonging often effectively blocks the very thing its pursuing....

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 
Article
6 - 9 minutes
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving,...

Finding Your Way Through Hard Times

Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 
Article
2 - 3 minutes
What have you lost this year during this COVID-19 pandemic? Are you grieving too? Recognition of loss can helped contextualize our emotions. When we can meet grief with understanding, patience and tenderness, when we create space to mourn our losses -- and to begin to process, heal and metabolize loss. This can helps us make sense of change and orient to a new reality. Grief is a longing for...

How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

Article • 6 - 10 minutes • 
Article
6 - 10 minutes
For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved into harsh argument?

Dealing with Loss: Speaking "No" in Fear of Backlash

Video • 9 minutes • 
Video
9 minutes
How do you speak your “No” when you fear retribution or a backlash, and all you want is love and protection? Listen in as Kristin leads participants through a unique process designed to help you feel less afraid and enable you to more easily cope with feelings of overwhelm, grief, or even anger.

Dealing with Loss: Engaging with Someone’s Grief for the World

Video • 9 minutes • 
Video
9 minutes
When faced with someone’s grief for the world, how do you engage with them in a way that is informed? In this session, Kristin suggests exploring what they might be grieving… what they’re afraid of losing… and what it is that they love.

Directness

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

From Obedience and Shame to Freedom and Belonging: Transforming Patriarchal Paradigms of Child-Rearing in the Age of Global Warming

Article • 33 pages • 
Article
33 pages
What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?

The Building Blocks of Interpersonal Collaboration (4 Session Course)

Audio • 5 -7 hours • 
Audio
5 -7 hours
Don’t know how to effectively work through differences with others in your organization? You are not alone… Like most of us, you simply lack the training and skills – and that’s what you’ll acquire listening to this course recording. Join Miki and learn specific tools and tips that work – for everyone!

Taking the First Step

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: If you're doing personal growth work, and changing your behaviors, you may find yourself wanting others to join your efforts with similar levels of enthusiasm. When they don't do so, you may feel frustrated and place judgments on them, thinking they aren't as caring. You'll be less likely to feel disappointed in people if you remind yourself that when you do personal growth work,...

The Inside Job of Collaboration (4 Session Course)

Audio • 5 - 7 hours • 
Audio
5 - 7 hours
Although we are evolutionarily designed for collaborating with others when attending to our basic needs, the weight of the systems and cultural messages we have inherited interfere. Many of us are doubtful that collaboration is possible or effective, and most of us lack both the faith and the skills to live collaboratively, regardless of cultural imperatives. Miki helps us navigate this terrain.

Meeting Our Need for Sexual Expression

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

Perceiving Reality

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we try to make another person fit into a reality that we prefer in order to meet our own needs everyone suffers. Instead, bring your focus back to yourself. Notice which of your needs are met or unmet when you spend time with someone. Don’t judge them; just focus on your feelings and needs. Then, decide whether continuing the relationship will meet them

Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

Learning Tool • N/A • 
Learning Tool
N/A
The following list of words are used to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to help you develop your emotional vocabulary and further support your communication with others.