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NVC Resources on Peace



We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.

Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a...

Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

Perceiving Reality

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we try to make another person fit into a reality that we prefer in order to meet our own needs everyone suffers. Instead, bring your focus back to yourself. Notice which of your needs are met or unmet when you spend time with someone. Don’t judge them; just focus on your feelings and needs. Then, decide whether continuing the relationship will meet them

Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

The Power of Being Heard

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

Requests, the Fourth Component of Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.

Aligning Our Strategies with Our Values

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: What do you value the most? Take a look at your actions and notice the values that your actions demonstrate (not what you want them to show, but what they do show), and see if they are in alignment. Where there is a gap take steps to create actions that are in alignment with your values.

Creating Your Experience

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Only after we connect to our unmet need can we make sound decisions that will transform our experience. For example, if you feel bored, connect to your unmet needs (eg. need for understanding the relevance, etc) and then look for strategies that will meet them (eg. ask the speaker how this topic relates to our lives).

Authenticity

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we are authentic about who we are, and our preferences, we give everyone and ourselves a better opportunity to open up dialogue about how to meet our collective needs better. We simply express our truth, and in that way we value our own needs as much as those of others.

Engage Your Curiosity

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.

Needs-Based Negotiation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we create situations that value one person’s needs at the expense of another, we open the door for someone to lose. Instead, look to see if you can speak openly and honestly, value the other person’s needs, and create solutions that value all stakeholder needs.

Meeting Our Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Discovering the unmet needs is only a starting point. The other part is to understand what it will take to meet that need, and make a request that will accomplish this. This way, we can resolve situations before they escalate. Everyone benefits when we are clear about what we would like.

Clarifying Our Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.

Choosing Whom We Empathize With

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: One of the basic philosophies of Nonviolent Communication is valuing everyone’s needs equally. That means that you consider your needs to be equal to another person’s needs. If someone asks you for empathy, and you choose to empathize at you own expense, you're not living in a Nonviolent Communication consciousness. Be aware of your own needs today when someone asks you to be their...

Meeting Our Need for Sexual Expression

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

 
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