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NVC Resources on Responsibility


Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
Article • 6-9 minutes • 
Article
6-9 minutes
For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.
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Paying Attention In Troubled Times

Paying Attention In Troubled Times

Paying Attention In Troubled Times

with Rachelle Lamb
Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. And so, let’s be clear. Let’s be discerning. Let’s be compassionate. Let’s pay...
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Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

with Mary Mackenzie
Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.
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Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Practice Exercise • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes
Use this exercise to stay in dialogue and connect to needs while facing a “no”. Identify a situation where you have low confidence that you'll get your needs met, and it'll be hard hearing a “no” to your request. Explore your response to the “no” by working with feelings, needs, request and alternate strategies. Thus you can work towards meeting your needs while also releasing the idea that...
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Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
Practice Exercise • 3-5 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
3-5 minutes
In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment,...
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How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

with Oren Jay Sofer
Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask...
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Steps Towards Meaningful Action

Steps Towards Meaningful Action

Steps Towards Meaningful Action

with Miki Kashtan
Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
We're in difficult times - possibly at the brink of extinction. What can we do in response? Some nonlinear steps: A.) Notice what isn't working; B.) Mourn so that we can move "towards" from an expanded space inside; C.) Analyze to bring a fuller understanding of what's happening and what's needed; D.) Reframe our inner and outer narratives; E.) Discern what we can contribute; F.) Care; and G.)...
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Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

with Robert Gonzales
Practice Exercise • 3 -5 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
3 -5 minutes
Integrating a full living involves grief/mourning and gratitude. Here we'll more deeply integrate inner and outer dimensions of gratitude and grief. In any experience there's the outer aspect, an event that occurs in life. And there's the inner response to the outer event. When we judge the outer positively or negatively we're in tension or resistance to our experience. Here we'll explore a...
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Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Learning Tool • 3 pages • 
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.
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Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

with Mary Mackenzie
Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.
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Control

Control

Control

with John Kinyon
Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and...
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The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

with Sarah Peyton
Article • 15 - 23 minutes • 
Article
15 - 23 minutes
Understanding how our brains operate in relation to power, privilege and status is important if we wish to build a world that works for all. This article gives an overview of the brain tendencies we have in relationship to groups, and provides remedies to counteract the automatic labor-saving devices of our human brains (which often prevent us from seeing the fullness of others, and our own,...
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Self Empathy/Regulation Process

Self Empathy/Regulation Process

Self Empathy/Regulation Process

with Eric Bowers
Practice Exercise • 30 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
30 minutes
Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions. Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness. If you are not aware of amygdala activation(fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight step process to develop your self empathy/regulation...
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