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NVC Resources on Responsibility


Getting Your Needs Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice...

Embracing Leadership within Yourself (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Join Miki as she covers a lot of territory, defining leadership, helping us lead when we're not in the leadership chair, showing us how to have power in every moment and engage our fear instead of let it run us. Get some powerful leadership tools you can put to use today.

The Shadow Side of Autonomy

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 
Article
8 - 12 minutes
Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared...

Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: Read on for the three stages of emotional maturity. In the third stage, we integrate the first two stages. We come to realize that everyone is responsible for their own feelings, but we also recognize our role if we do something that stimulates pain in another person. We also start to value the needs of everyone, rather than just one party's needs over the other.

How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Becoming a Change Agent Everywhere You Go (4 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 
Audio
6 - 8 hours
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed – or locked into passivity? This course offers you a way out. Learn to change the way you perceive leadership, and you’ll help yourself respond more powerfully and proactively every day of your life – wherever you are – and whomever you’re with!

Leadership within Your Workplace (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Most of us believe we are powerless at work – even if we’re the one “in charge.” This course offers you the opportunity to learn how to consciously change this mindset, and have a positive impact on workplace culture and attitudes along the way. Most of us believe we are powerless at work – even if we’re the one “in charge.” This course offers you the opportunity to learn how to consciously...

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

Responding to the Call of Our Times - Mentoring, Teaching and Coaching with Miki Kashtan

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes • 
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
Listen as Miki works with participants. Topics: how small requests serve interdependence; NVC process vs purpose; how to respond when empathy is used to create distance; coping with verbal aggression, and more!

Working for Transformation without Recreating the Past: Social Change and Nonviolence - Introduction

Audio • 1 hour • 
Audio
1 hour
Want things to change in your community, but feel frustrated or don’t know what to do? Miki’s intriguing overview of how to apply the principles of NVC to social change movements may have the exact blend of inspiration and ideas you’re seeking!

Secure Differentiation

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core...

Angry and Taken Advantage of

Article • 4-6 minutes • 
Article
4-6 minutes
Finding your power in seemingly powerless situations doesn't mean denying what happened, your feelings, your needs, nor the behavior of others that didn't meet needs. It does mean reexamining those situations with the intention to compassionately look for your contribution and for clues to your hidden perceptual biases. Read on to learn about about finding these clues, and more.

The Powers No One Can Take Away From Us

Article • 16 - 24 minutes • 
Article
16 - 24 minutes
We can choose our stories of interpretation, and how to respond. And while stories of self-sufficiency can (to a degree) give us more influence over our own lives, they don't erase oppression, war, nor climate change. When stories omit a lens that includes impacts of interdependence, oppression, and structural inequities, stories can also keep us disconnected and blocked from compassion for...

Increasing diversity in NVC circles

Article • 9 - 13 minutes • 
Article
9 - 13 minutes
Want to increase diversity, plus improve group dynamics and group functioning? There are things you can do to make NVC settings more welcoming to people of color. Learn more about how to use NVC; attend to impact; help the community understand and demonstrate more awareness; factor in historical context; engage; create a more inclusive climate; and more!

Viewing Needs Through an Equity Lens

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...