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NVC Resources on Responsibility



Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Fear of Negative Consequences

Audio • 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
8 minutes
Miki responds to a participant’s question concerning fear of consequences when speaking with a manager at work. In this excerpt, she delves into the topic of choosing to inhabit nonviolence in the workplace, affirming that fear and nonviolence are incompatible, and that nonviolence is a powerful alternative to our habitual Fight, Flight, Freeze responses.

Privilege Literacy: Why we Need to Know About the Effects of Power, Privilege and Status to Live Nonviolently

Article • 15 - 23 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
15 - 23 minutes
Our brains make patterns out of everything to save effort. But this has consequences on both how we treat others and on our ability to live nonviolently. The more we know about our own patterns, the more choice we have. Read on to learn our most important tendencies in groups, and what we can do in response.

Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

Article • 6-9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes
For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.

Paying Attention In Troubled Times

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. Cultural repair must be part of our work if we are going to attend to the whole.

Steps Towards Meaningful Action

Article • 4 - 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
We're in difficult times - possibly at the brink of extinction. What can we do in response? Some nonlinear steps: A.) Notice what isn't working; B.) Mourn so that we can move "towards" from an expanded space inside; C.) Analyze to bring a fuller understanding of what's happening and what's needed; D.) Reframe our inner and outer narratives; E.) Discern what we can contribute; F.) Care; and G.)...

Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with people who don't actually want to think about why they're being the way they are?

Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

Article • 12 - 18 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
12 - 18 minutes
What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Hearing the Yes behind the No

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for...

Five Tips For Reading The News Without Losing It

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Is it dangerous for large numbers of people to be absorbing disturbing news alone? Given the intensity of our times, making choices based on conscious awareness and discernment in relation to current events is essential for our ability to stay engaged, and to also wisely meet our collective challenges with agency and power. Here are five tips for how to help stay sane in relation to the news...

Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes
For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on...

Being the Change We Seek

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

Signs of Healthy Differentiation With Empathy

Article • 4- 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
4- 6 minutes
If you ask for or give empathy and are met with accusations of codependency, there are a number of things you can do to check that you are coming from a place of healthy differentiation. You can see if you're doing so from a place of healthy differentiation -- and notice signs of healthy differentiation when you offer empathy. You can also bring a profound respect for differences, and clear...

Don't Be Nice, Be Real! (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 5 hours
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
4 - 5 hours
In this dynamic 4 session telecourse recording, Kelly Bryson provides practical skills to balance passion for self with compassion for others. You will learn to apply Nonviolent Communication to stop yourself from being intimidated, giving in or giving up, abandoning your own needs or resenting others.

 
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