John Kinyon
CNVC Certified Trainer from El Sobrante, California, USA
John Kinyon provides communication training, coaching, and facilitation to the public and organizations. He is co-creator of the Mediate Your Life training program, which is a year-long public training offered in different parts of the U.S. and internationally. The training gives people the ability to connect across conflicting differences and divides, and work together in highly effective ways to reach new possibilities and solutions. John's work is based in the international work of Compassionate Communication (Nonviolent Communication, NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, who John worked closely with for over a decade. John has been a certified trainer of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) since 2000, and a leader in the world-wide NVC community. John is co-author of the books: From Conflict to Connection: Transforming Difficult Conversations into Peaceful Resolutions, and Choosing Peace: New Ways to Communicate to Reduce Stress, Create Connection, and Resolve Conflict.
Latest NVC Library Resources with John Kinyon
Navigating Conflict And The Hero/Heroine’s Journey
The hero/heroine’s journey is a narrative arc and universal archetype at the heart of humanity’s most popular stories. Here, we can connect with the immense power of meaning, purpose, and inspiration, moving us to feel profound emotion, accomplish, and persevere through seemingly impossible challenges. In our polarized world we can think about responding to conflicts from this mythic narrative of facing and transcending adversity.
Control
Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.
Empathy And Mindfulness With Inner Conversations Of Fear And Anxiety
We can shift from being absorbed and identified with our inner chatter and feelings to being the space of awareness of these things. Observe your breath. Then observe your mind generating thoughts. Next, feel sensations of your body, particularly the difficult ones. Now, connect with the underlying energy of needs. Ask your unconscious mind for universal needs words related to what you now notice, think and feel.
Resistance
There are many polarizing issues we can resist and fight over. The word "resistance" can mean fighting against what we don’t agree with in counterproductive ways. It can also be the illusion and futility of mentally fighting against reality of 'what is'. But acceptance, non-resistance, of what is doesn’t mean powerless resignation. Another way to resist is to accept and love whole-heartedly, with empathy and care for the people doing the things we are resisting.
Inoculation For Outrage
When outraged or resigned over polarized issues, pause to ask yourself who may be benefiting from this conflict? What are we not paying attention to that’s even more important? What matters most? Am I being distracted away from something more important? What do I really want? Where can I choose to focus attention and action for the wellbeing of all life on the planet (which is also my wellbeing and the well being of those I love)?