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Six Ways to Check If An Allied Intervention Is Welcome

Article • 2 - 3 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes
If we are in the dominant group, intervening to prevent violence or an "ouch" is a way to ally with marginalized folks. We can intervene to meet their needs, rather than our own. In other words, we can intervene without putting our experience at center stage. To that end, here are six ways to ask if an intervention is welcome.

Setting Boundaries with Reactivity

Article • 4-6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling...

Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like...

Creating Your Experience

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Only after we connect to our unmet need can we make sound decisions that will transform our experience. For example, if you feel bored, connect to your unmet needs (eg. need for understanding the relevance, etc) and then look for strategies that will meet them (eg. ask the speaker how this topic relates to our lives).

Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

When You Are Being "Talked At"

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.

NVC as Spiritual Practice: Transcendence, Transformation & Self (4 Session Course)

with John Kinyon and Newt Bailey
Audio • 6 - 8 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
6 - 8 hours
This 4 session telecourse recording offers practices while exploring the relationship between the core elements of NVC and universal spiritual principles. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

It’s All About Please and Thank You

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Let it RAIN!

with Jim Manske
Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.