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NVC Library search results for: responsibility


How to Ask for Responsiveness

Article • 3-5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet...

The Shadow Side of Autonomy

Article • 8 - 12 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
8 - 12 minutes
Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

Self Responsibility

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self...

Understanding Selfishness, Self-Responsibility, and Self-Care

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes
What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators...

How I Changed My Relationship to Time

Article • 8 - 12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8 - 12 minutes
What would happen if you considered that time is a concept, and that it doesn't rule your life? What would it mean to make all choices based on needs and not on time? Do you obey the external rhythm of the clock over and above the internal rhythm of your life energy? This is an invitation into more responsibility, awareness, honesty, choice and freedom.

The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: Read on for the three stages of emotional maturity. In the third stage, we integrate the first two stages. We come to realize that everyone is responsible for their own feelings, but we also recognize our role if we do something that stimulates pain in another person. We also start to value the needs of everyone, rather than just one party's needs over the other.

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving,...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...

Healing From Betrayal

Article • 5- 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5- 8 minutes
Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self...

Responding to Criticism: At Work and At Home

Article • 7 - 11 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes
In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

Embracing Leadership within Yourself (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Join Miki as she covers a lot of territory, defining leadership, helping us lead when we're not in the leadership chair, showing us how to have power in every moment and engage our fear instead of let it run us. Get some powerful leadership tools you can put to use today. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

3 Simple Steps to Set The Boundaries You Need

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
Resentment is one sign that you need a boundary. You can set a boundary by requesting the behavior that would be most meaningful to you. Include why that behavior would be meaningful to you and share vulnerably. Then notice if you are holding any blame and ask yourself, “What do I need to feel underneath my blame?” If you can take responsibility for those feelings with compassion, the other...

Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice...

Social Dynamics During the Holidays

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Article • 4-6 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes
Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 4. Invite People to Say No

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
When asking for support from another, you are most likely to enjoy receiving that support when the person giving support is giving from the heart—from a place of joy or delight. Inviting them to say "no" is a way of encouraging an authentic response, a response you can trust more fully.

Contributing to Emotional Safety Without Giving Up Honesty

Article • 5 - 7 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response...

 
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