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Library Resources with argument

Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2017
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Our world trains us to think in terms of providing for everyone’s needs because they deserve it, earned it, or they possess the resources -- it's fair, socially just, supports equality or because people have rights. Instead, can we step outside this worldview to look at providing for everyone’s needs because those needs exist -- can we hold this basic reverence for life? Are we able to have a needs-based dialogue when such a reframe could alienate those who live in the worldview of earn/deserve?

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 13 - 20 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2013
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to creating empathic connection.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 8/2018
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 6 - 9 minutes
  • Production Date 01/2018
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Eric Bowers
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 7-10 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2017
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 3
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 page
  • Production Date Circa 2007
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 12 - 18 minutes
  • Production Date 02/2013
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Most reactivity in intimate relationships comes from a lack of confidence in maintaining intimacy, autonomy, or security. What may help is naming what's happening, interrupting shame, and anchoring or reassuring yourself. You can also reflect on the effects of acting from reactivity. Knowing what helps center you, ask your partner to do or say specific things that might help. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 2/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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