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What Do You Deserve? And Do You Really Want to Deserve Anything?

Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

We can trick ourselves into keeping the status quo, feeling unworthy, and blocking access to critical awareness necessary that allows for new creative solutions to emerge -- when we think in terms of who has "earned" or “deserved” what.


The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.


Embracing the Body: Learning Compassion as a “Felt-Sense”

Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

Our "felt-sense" can provide crucial information about our experience and our lives. It can also help us integrate and retain information. This can also bring greater access to internal resources, choice, open heartedness, collaboration and creative solutions. From there, profound insight and transformation can follow. Here's how we can harness that...


The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...


What’s Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say, “I Love You”

Article •  6 - 9 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?).  This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...


Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article •  12 - 18 minutes • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
12 - 18 minutes

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.


Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...


The Ultimate Romance

Article •  6 - 9 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.


What is the Shadow?

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.


Why Do I Feel Depressed?

Article •  7 - 11 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

When does identifying our or others' needs become a coping mechanism that hides the real problems that go unaddressed, and thereby reinforcing problems?  This article zooms out to take a look at how dealing with our needs in the absence of the larger picture can inadvertertly support unhealthy ways of operating, rather than become a healthy solution.  It asks us to see what could be hidden -- both on the personal and societal levels.


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