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Signs of Healthy Differentiation With Empathy

Article  • 4- 6 minutes • 08/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
4- 6 minutes

If you ask for or give empathy and are met with accusations of codependency, there are a number of things you can do to check that you are coming from a place of healthy differentiation. You can see if you're doing so from a place of healthy differentiation -- and notice signs of healthy differentiation when you offer empathy. You can also bring a profound respect for differences, and clear boundaries. Read on for more.


Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 08/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.


Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

Article  • 8 - 12 minutes • 03/2012
Intermediate Skill Levels
Article
8 - 12 minutes

In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.


Healing Codependency

Article  • 5 - 10 minutes • 9/2020
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 10 minutes
We all fall into codependency sometimes — it’s in our wiring. And when we do, it’s a sign that we’re looking for security the only way we know how in that moment: by looking outside of ourselves. At its core, codependency is the act of leaving ourselves and looking outward to find our sense of self. So to heal codependent patterns we need focus on coming back to ourselves and engage in vulnerable, boundaried connection.

Social Dynamics During the Holidays

Trainer Tip  • 2 - 3 minutes • 12/2004
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.