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Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 09/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without getting caught in defensiveness or reactivity.


Making Requests for Respect

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 07/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

When asking for respect it helps to first get clear about your interpretations of other's behavior. You can do this by asking about the other's intentions before believing your thoughts. You can also make a clear request for what specifically you want to see happen instead. Read on for more.


Lonely Together

Article  • 5 - 7 minutes • 05/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.


Prevent Misunderstanding--One Simple Strategy

Article  • 2-3 minutes • 8/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes

Misunderstandings can be painful. We can easily avoid this by checking what the other person understood from what we said, and ask the other person to do the same. Doing this is especially important when it comes to planning, shared decision-making, and when emotions are strong. Also, the more someone knows you, the more they think they already know what you mean -- which can get in the way of really hearing you. Here are a variety of ways to approach this simple strategy.


Responding to Criticism: At Work and At Home

Article  • 7 - 11 minutes • 5/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.


Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 10/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...


Don't Take It Personally

Article  • 10 - 15 minutes • 04/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
10 - 15 minutes

When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.


An Invitation to Resonance: The Practice of Nonviolent Communication

Article  • 10 - 15 minutes • 11/2017
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
10 - 15 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.


What Makes NVC Hard?

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 10/20/2017
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...


Dealing with Loss: Coming Back to Life (3 Session Course)

Audio  • 2 hours, 55 minutes • 11/06/2013
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
2 hours, 55 minutes

This gentle, healing telecourse recording will assist you in unearthing feelings and issues that have become tangled up with loss, enabling you to face whatever is blocking your grief.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.


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