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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Dealing With Disappointment

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Disappointment emerges when there is a gap between what we want, expect or hope for, and what is happening. When this occurs it can be tempting to make someone or the situation wrong. Instead, rather than pushing against the flow of life we can rejoin it, non-judgmentally notice our observations and feelings. Plus we can nurture acceptance and mourning. We can also remember that what's happening isn't permanent.


Exercise In Self Compassion

Practice Exercise •  1- 3 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1- 3 minutes

With this exercise you'll choose an experience you had with someone where your needs were not met. You'll work with the related feelings, judgements, values, and feeling the fullness of the need even though it was not met, plus any sadness that may arise.


Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

Practice Exercise •  3 -5 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 -5 minutes

Integrating a full living involves grief/mourning and gratitude. Here we'll more deeply integrate inner and outer dimensions of gratitude and grief. In any experience there's the outer aspect, an event that occurs in life. And there's the inner response to the outer event. When we judge the outer positively or negatively we're in tension or resistance to our experience. Here we'll explore a more integrated mode of experiencing.


Taking the First Step

Trainer Tip •  1-2 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: If you're doing personal growth work, and changing your behaviors, you may find yourself wanting others to join your efforts with similar levels of enthusiasm. When they don't do so, you may feel frustrated and place judgments on them, thinking they aren't as caring. You'll be less likely to feel disappointed in people if you remind yourself that when you do personal growth work, what needs you are meeting for yourself.