NVC Library

NVC Learning Tools

Creating an Internal Secure Base

Article •  5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.


Embracing Your Emotions: Honoring the Wisdom of BIG Emotions (3 Session Course)

Audio •  3 - 4 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
3 - 4 hours

Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.


Emotional Regulation Strategies

Learning Tool •  2-3 minutes
All Skill Levels
Learning Tool
2-3 minutes

Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.


How To Move Through Your Triggers Faster

Article •  4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

After acknowledging the impact others have on us, you can ask yourself "What am I telling myself?" and "If that’s true, what am I afraid will happen?". The more present, gentle and compassionate you can be with the underlying feelings, the faster you can move through your trigger. Then you're more likely to respond in ways that feel, kind, responsible, intelligent and aligned for you.


How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic

Article •  5-8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5-8 minutes

As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that happens in a pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. Read on for more.


Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

Article •  4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

What's really going on underneath the surface when we bring or encounter blame, judgements, pain -- and thereby the inability to empathize, be present, attuned, or responsive?  Why does this happen even if one or more people in a relationship dynamic is working hard at bringing in an NVC response? This article addresses these and more questions from the perspective of how our brains are affected in our relationships.


The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article •  3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3-5 minutes

Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.


 
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