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Confronting with Care: An Approach that Builds Trust

Article  • 7 - 10 minutes • 11/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 10 minutes

People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.


Overcoming Defensiveness

Article  • 5 - 7 minutes • 05/2010
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 7 minutes

A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.


Why Don’t They Get It?

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 08/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes

What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening our perspective to bring in greater care and awareness.


Don't Take It Personally

Article  • 10 - 15 minutes • 04/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
10 - 15 minutes

When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.


Responding to Unwanted Feedback from Peers

Article  • 6-9 minutes • 1/2020
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes

When someone offers continual unsoliticed feedback or advice, setting a boundary may not be easy if you care about how they might hear you. And if you don't set a boundary, you may eventually become resentful and say something you regret. Instead, here are six ways to respond, with varying degrees of effectiveness.


How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes

Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to mess up. Part of working to undo racism is having the humility to know when our own understanding is limited. Read on for more this, and how it relates to meditation -- plus personal and collective liberation.


Feedback without Criticism (5 Session Course)

Audio  • 8 - 11 hours • 02/08/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
8 - 11 hours

This 5-session telecourse recording is designed to support you in learning what makes giving and receiving feedback challenging and how you can turn these experiences into opportunities for learning, connection, and effective functioning.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.


Workplace Series: Supervisors Giving Feedback to Others

Audio  • 11 minutes • 10/2008
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
11 minutes

Creating a trusting connection and keeping the line of communication open are the primary prerequsites for giving feedback as a supervisor. Listen to Miki work with a course participant to ready herself for an upcoming feedback session.


Workplace Series: The Distinction Between Giving Feedback and Wanting to be Heard

Audio  • 9 minutes • 10/2008
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
9 minutes

Listen to Miki make an important distinction between giving feedback, which is grounded in a desire to contribute to another, and our own need to be heard.


4 Steps to Effective Feedback

Interactive  • 3 Hours • 01/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Interactive
3 Hours

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian to find out how to speak up in a way that ensures you're heard, even in challenging situations.


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