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When someone's in immense pain and uses words that are hard to hear, see if you can bring in as much attention and compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much on how it was said. This may support greater understanding and healing. Otherwise, we risk prioritizing needs, norms, and inequities of the dominant culture, over caring for people who bear the invisible brunt of such norms.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Advanced Skill Level
  • Duration 12 - 18 minutes
  • Date Added 03/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Roxy Manning
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the need is, are factors to guide us for when to apply force and demand within NVC. We can be attached to outcome, without being attached to strategy.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 5 - 8 minutes
  • Date Added 11/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Roxy Manning
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to mess up. Part of working to undo racism is having the humility to know when our own understanding is limited. Read on for more this, and how it relates to meditation -- plus personal and collective liberation.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 5 - 8 minutes
  • Date Added 06/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Oren Jay Sofer
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much support for the choice as possible, and while mourning not seeing another way to respond to a situation in which vital needs are at stake except to use force". Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 37 - 56 minutes
  • Date Added 05/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee BayNVC
  • Points 14
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The concept of universal human needs can be used to silence and minimize their pain. Read on for how to proceed.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 4 - 6 minutes
  • Date Added 12/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Roxy Manning
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

In the "obnoxious stage" we care for our needs in a way that doesn't respect others' needs. In the "emotional liberation" stage we fully care for others' needs as much as our own—while being free of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation. Often NVC training teaches us how to achieve the latter stage without the former. For greater compassion we can be more rigorous in how we talk about “responsibility", impacts and interdependence.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 11 - 26 minutes
  • Date Added 02/24/2022
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Bob Wentworth
  • Points 5
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Trainer Tip: Your every action has an effect on other people’s lives. The nature of the impact may not be obvious to us, but that doesn’t diminish its presence. The next time you are tempted to snap at someone or cut in front of another driver, consider whether you’d like to be their story that evening. Consider whether this is the kind of contribution you’d like to make to their life.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 10/28//2005
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
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