Library Resources with Introductory Skill Level

Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.

Trainer Tip: What do you value the most? Take a look at your actions and notice the values that your actions demonstrate (not what you want them to show, but what they do show), and see if they are in alignment.   Where there is a gap take steps to create actions that are in alignment with your values.

Trainer Tip: With empathy, ponder one area of your life that you are unhappy with today. Consider whether you can take action to change the experience and meet your needs.

Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.

Trainer Tip: Asking for support may feel awkward and uncomfortable. In these moments, we may forget that everyone needs support. We may also forget that there may be many options available to us, even if what's available isn't our preferred source of support.

Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

Trainer Tip: Find your deepest need. Then notice when you do things, or have done things, that keep you from meeting your most important need. And then take conscious action that is in alignment with the need you want to meet.

To keep our life energy moving and growing we can find the resources to welcome and accompany various parts of ourselves with compassion and love -- as though these parts are very young children.  And even if these parts contain difficult emotions...

When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed due to various life experiences. Without empathy and acknowledgment, our inner parts tend to work against us. That's when we're called upon to build and develop our inner leadership...

Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.